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This is an excerpt from the introduction to my book, "You After Birth" which is coming out later this year! Enjoy!

 

 

Matrescence.

 

In some ways, I wish this beautiful word would replace the oft-misunderstood term “postpartum”. Matrescence means “the process of becoming a mother”. A fuller definition includes “the physical, emotional, hormonal and social transition to becoming a mother”.  The term was coined by an anthropologist in the 1970s, but even over the course of 50 years, this process of becoming a mother hasn’t been studied very much, and the studies that have been done are not well known. 

 

One study showed that when we become pregnant and have a baby, our brains literally change. Have you heard the term “baby brain”? Our brains actually reduce in volume during pregnancy - but that doesn’t mean we get less smart. Studies show that while we may become more forgetful about some things, we are more in tune with all it takes to be a mother. Keeping that in mind this time around, as I'm currently 2 months postpartum and sometimes struggle to remember simple words (I recently called a rutabaga a mushroom!), has been comforting. I also know that after my previous 5 births, my brain has eventually gotten back to a semblance of normal, and it will this time, too.

 

It’s not just our brains that change when we become a mother- it’s our whole being. This is why I also like the term “newborn mother”, coined by Julia Jones, a postpartum doula and author in Australia. I first learned the above facts about ‘baby brain’ from her. 

 

She writes in her book ‘Newborn Mothers’:

 

Newborn Mothers - A recently born mother, whose strength is asking for help. She acknowledges that the birth of a mother is more intense than childbirth, and that she is as sensitive and vulnerable as her baby. Her heart is wide open and her needs are high. As she nourishes herself, she nourishes her children.

 

The transition to motherhood - matrescence, becoming a newborn mother, postpartum - regardless of the terminology you use, is a significant event in your life. Just as with adolescence, the transition into adulthood, you come out on the other end feeling almost as if you are a different person. And depending on how you (and your parents, in the case of adolescence) handled the transition, you may look back on it with fondness or with a cringe - or maybe even sadness and frustration because of the way things were handled. 

 

The similarities between adolescence and matrescence are intriguing. Adolescence involves brain changes, hormonal changes, and changes in your body. It also, on a societal level, involves a new set of expectations as to behavior and responsibility. You become much more independent, and eventually (hopefully!) leave the ‘nest’. 

 

Matrescence also involves brain, hormonal, and physical changes. Newborn mothers have a new set of expectations placed on them by society and by themselves. They now have an increased responsibility not only for themselves but for another human being. Rather than becoming more independent, however, matrescence requires the woman to lean into her support system. Rather than leaving the nest, she creates her own ‘nest’. 

 

Unfortunately, just as our society tends to look on adolescence as a period of life to fear and dread, matrescence - postpartum - has become something women dread. In most Western cultures, we don’t have traditions or ‘rights of passage’ for adolescents anymore. When a girl starts her period, we secretly hand her some pads and quickly explain what to do. When a woman has a baby - well, a nurse hands her some pads and quickly explains what to do. 

 

The purpose of this book isn’t to change our society. But if we, on an individual level, begin to look at postpartum in a new light, perhaps that will be the seed of change in our society as well.